Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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