i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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