a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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