She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
