wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
