my mouth tastes like poor choices
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
