4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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