I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
