we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
