so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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