So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
