Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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