White coat. Heels.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize