you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
