i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
