She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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