Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
