I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
