WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
