it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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