Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
