i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
