Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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