Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
