I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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