ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
