Apparently you make a good broom.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
