The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
