I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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