I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
