Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
