Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
