Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
