Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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