I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
