Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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