Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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