where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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