you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
