Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
