His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
