Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I need to sanitize my soul.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
