hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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