i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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