spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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