Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
