I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
