I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
