I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
