DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
