Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
