The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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