HIV tests are more positive than that guy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
