i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
