i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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