She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
