We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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