I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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