they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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