Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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