were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
