God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
