playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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